Breakups are more than messy – they hurt, they’re disappointing, heck they’re depressing setbacks that twist our heart until all the fictional blood pools at our feet and we bath in it miserably!
But the breakup is not the worst part of the journey; what comes next is. The inability to move on from an ex you oh-so-completely were in love with is the hard part. Because while a breakup takes seconds to happen, what comes after takes months, or even years. Horrible.
Your BFF may tell you that the only way to get over a breakup is by getting a haircut and maybe downing two gallons of chocolate chip ice cream, but you know moving on will take a lot more than that.
So, let’s talk about moving on today and how you can succeed at that. Sure, there will still be days you’ll want to wallow in self-pity and want to go back to ex shamelessly. But let’s all try and follow these simple tips religiously to be able to move on. For good.
Let’s get started:
1 – Take a break from social media
In olden days, recovering from a breakup was comparatively easier. After all, Facebook didn’t shove memories of the fun session of smooching you had with your ex on the same date a few years back. Neither was there any such thing as the urge to follow your unfriended ex on social media like Joe Goldberg from You.
Nowadays breakups are all the more difficult because you are constantly bombarded with reminders related to your ex on social media. Even if you block your ex, you may still come across their pictures thanks to mutual friends.
One great way to stop this is by taking a good, long break from social media. It wouldn’t be good for your heart if you’re still grieving and your feed shows the status of your ex being in a new relationship because a friend commented on it. Ouch.
2 – Exclude your ex from your fantasies
Let’s not lie, all of us fanaticize even if that sounds pathetic. And no, making up stories in your mind doesn’t stop once you grow older. It’s a bad, bad thing that you keep returning to as if its caffeine that you just cannot keep away from.
But wait right there – no one said fanaticizing sometimes is unhealthy. That’s how the brain works, after all. Just that after a breakup you really need to eliminate your ex from your thoughts and imagination.
Don’t stop picturing your future; start doing so without them not being a part of it. Focus on your own self only in your imaginations. You don’t need someone to complete you.
3 – Get rid of physical reminders
So, your ex just left his or her shirt in your apartment and now you’re sniffing at it like a dog and finding comfort in your ex’s scent? Not good, honestly. The only way to move on is by going forward and to do that you need to get rid of all the physical reminders of your ex.
This means you should trash all the gifts they gave you and you need to kick all their stuff out from your room. You may even have to delete all the pictures you have together in your phone otherwise you will keep looking at them at all times.
Sounds hard, but once you do this you’ll feel better. If possible, shift to a new place or go on a vacation following this delete session to get your mind off your ex.
4 – Grieve some and listen to sad music
Okay, don’t be too hard on your either. Let yourself heal. For that, you will have to give yourself the permission to remember your ex some and feel sad at your situation. Only once the tears are out, your inner confusion will be as well.
Research suggests that listening to sad music – we’re looking at you Adele cassettes – is not a bad idea. In fact, listening to sad music after a breakup can make you feel more at peace which is why you should go for it.
For your own good, try not to listen to any songs that remind you of your ex because you listened to them together. Or listen to such songs a few times for letting those feelings out and then say your byes to them. Tough but you gotta do what you gotta do.
5 – Consider rebounding
Last but not the least, consider rebounding. You know what they say, ‘fake it, till make it.’ Don’t stop dating just because your relationship has ended. But, rebound healthily without hurting anyone, including yourself, in the process. Don’t immediately rebound; give yourself the time to process and self-reflect.
Then, rebound with someone you know is not looking for anything serious. Or just inform the person you next date that he or she might be the rebound person or that you’ve just been through a messy breakup. Don’t make big claims and promises in your next relationship until you are absolutely sure of your feelings.
If nothing works, you can always try tinder. Remember to not serial date or have too many sad casual hookups. Be careful and don’t end up with someone who can break your heart again.
So, this was our list of the top 5 tips on moving on after a breakup. Do you have some more effective tips to add? Please share to spread awareness.