Love is not based on numbers. Not the number of bills in one’s pocket and also not the number of years one has lived. While girls cringe on the idea of dating an older man, for some it is simply just what works best. This doesn’t mean that a 20 something girl dating a 70 something man is cool. Nope, we don’t encourage that idea or a vice versa situation. But not all age gaps are horrifying.
Sure, with so many years between you and your significant other, there are bound to be some differences in the way you view the world. But at the end of the day, it’s more about who makes you feel happier, who cares and respects for you, and who just goes better with you.
There is a common idea that older men tend be more controlling and can be abusive. But that’s not true in every case. Just like not every younger dude is a douchebag. There’s no formula really for figuring out people’s personalities.
That said, if you’re someone dating a guy who happens to be almost a decade older than you, here are some things you should expect. Also, we’re not talking about the creeps here, those come in every age and size. We’re talking about the average older lover.
You get interviewed a lot
‘How did you guys meet?’ or ‘Do you like him for his money?’ You get to hear a whole lot of questions. Because the modern society expects you to settle with someone your own age. When you are dating a person, who is older than you by many years, your friends can get very inquisitive. They might even have a hard time accepting the new man in your life.
Friend gettogethers are awkward when your friends bring along their boys and you take your man along. A man who is older than the other guys present, is sure to intimidate them. This is good too, in a way as pervs stay away. It is also pretty challenging to introduce your older boyfriend to your family. You are bound to feel nervous and some irritating conversations are also sure to pop up.
He is financially stable
Here’s what most people think and it’s nothing surprising; you’re dating the older guy because he is rich. However, that is of course not the truth. In most cases when the guy is significantly older than you, he is usually stable in the finance game. It’s pretty obvious why. His struggle-to-get-a-job years are behind him and he already has a position that brings in the bucks.
This is both good and bad. A man who has crossed that stage years ago, will not be able to relate to your current status that says looking-for-more-opportunities. He might even want you to put your work on the backseat and depend on him entirely. That’s not a good idea; don’t drop your dreams. The merit? luckily, most professionally experienced men also have more helpful connections.
He is more mature
Most women go for older men not because they have the bucks but because they have the brains. It’s no secret that it takes a long time for a boy to become a man. With someone who is older than you, there’s less of that immaturity that usually accompanies younger guys. The older man is way wiser and doesn’t play games with you.
This also comes with its bag of pros and cons. You see, someone who is more intelligent than you, more experienced, can trick you way more easily without you being able to even sniff the deception. It can work in your favor to, if the man truly loves and cares for you, as you don’t have to wait for texts or put up with any silly, irritating attitude.
There are more differences
If there are a lot of years separating your ages, it can get problematic as well. You and your significant other, might not be able to relate with each other on several levels. He has been brought up in a different timeline after all. What you are going through is something that’s done and dusted for him. However, this too, can work for the better.
If this older guy is caring and empathic, he will try to put himself in your shoes and understand your situation. When there is love and both the partners have good intentions, it’s personality that makes all the difference. Not the age. However, unlike a boy who might get frustrated quickly, an older man would have the instinct to help and protect you. He can be your emotional anchor.
His past can interfere
While with someone your own twenty something age, the problem of cheating and trying different partners can cause rifts, with older men, there are baggage issues. A guy who is older than you would certainly have had a few love interests before you. These can pop up out of nowhere and cause unforeseen problems.
Don’t be surprised if he was married once too and has kids. However, hiding things like these or cheating are not matters that can be based on age. These are downright character issues. Both a younger man or an older one can turn out to be a cheat or a hypocrite. So, while most of these pointers stand true in most cases, nothing is set in stone. Just remember to follow your heart.